Ten Hairstyles Only Found in Video Games
There are a lot of awesomely ridiculous hair trends in the world today. They’re everywhere you look, around every corner and at one time you probably participated in one of these fashion atrocities. However, if you’re looking for the best, worst hair styles – those that are so out of this world that they are in fact out of this world, then look no further than the video game world.
The idea of a video game character and ridiculous hair is like assuming the role of Captain Obvious. Why? Because, they go hand-and-hand. It’s like associating tattoos with sports. Not every player has them, but they are plenty. In this list, we are counting down the top 10 hairstyles can only be found in the virtual world of video games. This is about to get hairy (pun completely intended).
10. Major Guile – Street Fighter II
Major Guile, the ragtag, American military boy from Street Fighter has a ‘do that blends two already horrible hairstyles into one giant NO-NO. It’s like a horizontal blend between the mohawk and the flattop. As if he looked to an anvil or maybe a hammer head shark for fashionable hair inspiration. Needless to say, it’s outrageous, yet somehow he’s been rocking it for almost 20 years.
9. Ganondorf – The Legend of Zelda franchise
Ganondorf, the Triforce tyrant himself has been causing havoc on Link – one of gaming’s most beloved characters for 25 years – not to mention every hair fashion known to man. Here’s some advice starting from the top (literally). First off, Ganon my boy, tone down that ridiculously bright orange hair. Second, trim that yeti-looking beard. Third, take that crown and metal junk out of your carrot top. Fourth, well, you know what, just shave your head altogether. There’s just too much to correct here, sorry.
8. Chun Li – Street Fighter II
Coming in at number 8, we have another member of the Street Fighter lineup. Chun Li, like Guile (#10 on the list) has some unforgettable hair that slightly screams Star Wars’ Princess Leia meets Little Bo Beep (minus the bonnet). It’s an odd style, but when you actually look at all the Street Fighter characters, Chun Li’s hair might be among the most normal. Seriously, this “only in video games hair list” could be comprised of solely Street Fighter characters, no joke.
7. Princess Zelda – The Legend of Zelda franchise
Another Legend of Zelda character graces our top 10 “only in video games hair styles list” at number 7 – the famed Zelda herself. Trust me, this list isn’t only composed of Zelda and Street Fighter characters – promise. Zelda makes this list based on her pseudo-braided locks tucked into tapered off ponytails flowing over her satellite-like elf ears. Try saying that five times fast. Nonetheless, her hair is interesting to say the least, and it’s definitely only in a video game.
6. Bowser – Super Mario Bros.
You know the face, that maniacal dinosaur-looking, princess-abducting turtle. Up until recently, the only hair fashion we really knew about the plumber-stomping no-good-doer was that it was red. That was pretty much it thanks to pixelated 8 and 16-bit graphics. But over the last several years, graphics have improved and we’ve finally gotten a decent look at those vibrant crimson locks of his. And, from what it looks like, Bowser –when he’s not kidnapping Princess Peach over and over and over again – frequently sees his hairstylist to get that newly feathered look. Plus, from the looks of things, despite most people asking for an eyebrow trim, it seems that mean ol’ Bowser likes to fluff those cherry eye-caterpillars out as big as he can get ‘em.
5. Sonic the Hedgehog – Sonic the Hedgehog franchise
Have you ever seen a blue hedgehog? You know what, let me just help you out. The answer is NO! Not sure what Sega was thinking when they created this cobalt-furred speedster, but for some reason it stuck with people and now Sonic is a gaming icon. However, that doesn’t stop us from critiquing his blue spiked ‘do. And seriously, you’re not going to find this hairstyle outside of the video game world…at least hopefully not.
4. Paul Phoenix – Tekken
Umm, can you say House Party meets Jersey Shore? Paul Phoenix from the beat ‘em up fighting series Tekken looks like he stole his blocked off, skyscraper hairstyle straight from 1990’s House Party actor Christopher “Kid” Reid of the duo Kid & Play. He might also be able to pull off saying he was the blonde cast member cut from Jersey Shore. There’s Snooki, The Situation and Paul Phoenix. He could have fit right in. ‘Tis a shame!
3. Cloud –Final Fantasy series
There’s not really a whole lot to say here. The picture pretty much sums up what’s going on with Cloud’s hair. It looks like someone peeled a banana over his head and just left it there. Not sure whether to laugh at it or eat it.
2. Dixie Kong – Donkey Kong Country 2
This cute little primate might not have the most unusual looking mane, other than the fact that a monkey is trying to impersonate Goldie Locks. No, the more unusual aspect of this ape’s hair is what it’s actually used for. In the game Dixie whirls that banana-blonde tress in a similar fashion to helicopter blades in order to slow her decent. She also picks up various in-game objects like barrels and boxes which she then carries over her head or throws. You show me someone in real-life who can do those things and I’ll immediately bump her off this “only in video games hairstyles list.”
1. Goku – Dragon Ball Z series
You’ve reached the finale – our most outlandish and out of this world hairstyle in all of video games. The award goes to Goku from Dragon Ball Z who brings a whole new concept of “wow” to the hair fashion world – and not in a good way. At this rate you might as well call him Rapunzel with that overwhelming blonde cape of hair. “Goku, Goku, let down your hair!” Hmm, doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.
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Tags: Bowser, Chun Li, Cloud, Dixie Kong, Donkey Kong, Dragon Dall Z, Final Fantasy, Gandondof, goku, Major Guile, Paul Phoenix, Princess Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, Street Fighter, Street Fighter II, Super Mario Bros, Tekken, The Legend of Zelda, video game hairstyles
November 20th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
There are so many problems about this article that I could not keep silent. The first problem arises with #8. Chun-Li. It’s obvious that you did no research at all on this article or you would have discovered just from glancing on the wikipedia page listed for her that she wears Ox-Buns. A traditional Chinese hairstyle that is still used with formal attire.
The next issue is with Sonic. He is an animal, specifically a hedgehog and his “hairstyle” is representative of this. And no, you’re not going to find this hairstyle outside of a videogame, admittedly, but that is because no human could possibly grow that much hair. The fact that the mohawk even exists in it’s range of styles is indicative that if it were possible, someone would do it.
Then there is Paul. A hairstyle that would not be out of place at any gathering of punk rockers, hackers or mohawk enthusiasts. Except for Chun-Li, he might have the most realistic hairstyle in your list.
Cloud’s hairstyle is actually something you see quite often in downtown Tokyo. Young kids rebelling against their parents would certainly spike their hair and bleach it bone white. It’s one of the least crazy things that teenagers with too much time on their hands would do.
Dixie has a ponytail. One of the most common hairstyles in America. A hairstyle that girls have been sporting since the medieval era and men have been rocking since the ability to rock a hairstyle has been possible. You deviate from the main point of your article in saying that she performs unreal actions with her hair, but there is a character who exceeds at this as well, Bayonetta. A woman who literally wears her own hair as clothing.
Then there is Goku. A character not from a videogame but from a cartoon. But he’s been in videogames you might argue. In which case you may as well argue that Link is a cartoon character because he had an animated series.
Finally, you failed to mention possibly the most ridiculous hairstyle in all of video game legend. Musashi Samurai Legend.
http://www.gamershell.com/static/screenshots/7873/183567_full.jpg
April 28th, 2011 at 1:40 am
It’s great!