The Worst Hairstyles From the Past 30 Years
So, you’re constantly on tap with the hairstyles you should be sporting, but how up are you on the hairstyles that were hip 30 years ago? What once was a sexy turn-on has overtime become inaugurated into the hall of fame for WORST hairstyles of all time. Can you believe these hideous hair supporters were the ones that ran with the mouth-drooling popular crowd? Just goes to show how tastes change over 30 years.
P.S. These awesomely-bad hairstyles are in no particular order of ridiculousness.
7. The Mullet
That’s correct; we are starting this list off with a bang. The business in the front, party in the back hair style that so lovingly graced our presence in the 80’s has never withstood the test of time; although a few still pop up from time to time.
6. The Rat Tail
Can any style that uses the words “rat” and “tail” possibly sound good? Closely related to the mullet, in fact in the same family – probably a cousin Mickey – the rat tail emerges on the list. The rat tail may in fact personify the characteristics of an actual rat-like person. A person who is called a rat typically appears normal and trustworthy on the surface, but in times of trouble their real identity emerges and their rat-like nature surfaces. Well, the same can be said about this atrocity of a hairstyle. It may look natural up front, but as soon as they turn their back and that tail whips across their neck, the true nature of the hair comes out. Trustworthy in the front, a rat in the back.
This hairstyle is relatively new to the awful ‘do genre, even though it has strong ties to the new age movement in the 80’s – “Flock of Seagulls” anyone? However, unlike its new age predecessor, the emo/scenster look simply makes the wearer seem sad, like they need a hug because their dog just died. Nevertheless, the hairstyle is like a chopped salad, with the hair being clipped and snipped to various lengths all around. “Sigh, my dog just croaked.” Well, maybe you can dry those tears with the crazy amount of hair that’s in your eyes.
Going back to the Full House days, poof bangs were a hit! In fact, bangs in general have made quite the come back over the last few years. However, good-looking bangs don’t always turn out right and as a result the unfortunate wearer gets the poof look. As a result, those girls strutting around with poofy bangs look like they’ve taken a stroll back to 1st grade. It sort of screams my mom just finished curling my bangs in the morning, right after my daily bowl of Froot Loops and sippy cup of apple juice.
3. The Bowl Cut
The 90’s gave us Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mania, the game Guess Who?, Super Soakers, Skip It, Tamagotchi pets and of course, the bowl cut. In the 90’s, any boy with a bowl cut was H.O.T. Now we can’t help but ask ourselves “what the hell were we thinking?” Other than the fact that the bowl cut was as bad as it sounded – literally, it looked like someone put a bowl on your head and just cut around the rim – the style proved that no matter how old you actually are, you will never look older than a 12-year-old boy.
2. Riot Hair
There’s blow dry blasted and hairspray doused Jersey hair, and then there’s riot hair – taking big locks to a whole new level. Made popular in the late 70’s and throughout the 80’s and still into the early 90’s, riot hair looks as if a large, furry woodland creature crawled upon a women’s head before keeling over. It’s big, it’s out of control and it’s dead, hopefully forever. It’s almost safe to say that if riot hair comes back, then we will also witness the reemergence of shoulder pads. They seem to go hand in hand.
It’s bad and chances are your dad or someone you know has committed this heinous hairstyle crime. Let’s face it. Going bald is an unfortunate subject for any man, but what you do with that oncoming brigade of baldness really defines your desperation for hair. If you’re balding, then just let it bald. Heck, shave it all off if you need to, but don’t ever try combing over what remaining strands of dignity (ahem… I meant hair) you have across that shiny, bald dome.
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